Yow Yow’s Official Guide to Facebook

Sometimes, I wish that Facebook came with a manual. Let’s be real, the social networking site is taking over. It’s not Google, but sometimes I fear that it will get there. Since this is The Social Network’s opening weekend, I thought I would make a post covering some advice and hints regarding the website. I think I have said it before, but I feel like Facebook is as common as a phone number. Everyone has it. While most people use it as a distraction from their homework to quickly chat with friends, edit their information, or creep on others, my main use for it is entertainment. There have been way too many times when I have perused the status updates or the photos wondering why people are so laughable. And with that – let’s get to the good stuff.

  • If you have not met someone in person but have seen them around, ask yourself why you feel the need to add this person. This is especially awkward if you roll in the same circles-  ie) work or school. I never know what I’m supposed to say to these “friends” when I see them out and about. Am I supposed to say hi or ask how are you? I don’t know you.
  • Celebrities and musicians are normal people too. They like to have Facebook as well to keep in touch with friends they ALREADY know. Notice how I said friends – not fans. Fans – stick to MySpace.
  • Beware of the passive aggressive. Bad days happen to everyone. Does it mean we want to hear about it via your Facebook status? Probably not. These statuses reference a low moment during the day and typically hint at someone else being involved like a friend or someone they’re dating. Ex) “I HATE LIARS!” or “There’s only so much you can take until you break.” [actual statuses]
  • The mirror pictures…just get someone to take the picture for you. What starts on MySpace stays on MySpace.
  • The boozer. You’re young and you want to party – we get it. Your pictures, however, don’t always have to show you having a good time. Personally, I never thought it was a big deal until I got involved and realized that it was  not always very classy. Your pictures say a lot about the person that you are. If you become friends with people you work with or family, do you really want them to see you in that kind of light?
  • The same goes for status updates. We don’t care how much you drank last night, if you have spent all day drinking and doing nothing else, or if you have the hangover from hell. We get it. You’re an alcoholic.
  • Don’t add every friend request you receive. If you don’t know them, it’s best to just deny. Your Facebook profile contains so much information – a lot of information that could be harmful to you if you connect with a stranger. It doesn’t matter if you have friends in common- if you don’t know who’s adding you, don’t feel pressured to add them.

  • The extended arm picture. Did you know that there’s a camera for that now? People LOVE pictures. Sometimes they love it a little too much. I just love seeing entire albums with a friend doing the extended arm picture with various other people. Usually it will include one other person because you can only stretch so far. You’re friends with a lot of people – high five!
  • Be realistic in your friend count. This isn’t high school. You don’t have to be friends with everyone and although it may be difficult at first, it is nice to downsize your number of friends with the delete button. I’ll admit that I kept certain people around because I thought maybe later in life we would get in touch again, but then I think… no probably not. The best part is when you delete someone and they add you back again within a few days. Kind of makes you wonder…
  • If you haven’t talked to someone in over five years, don’t try to reconnect over Facebook chat. It’s a little awkward. “So what have you been doing for the past five years?” is going to lead into a long conversation that no one wants to have.
  • Do NOT tell us about your schedule for the day in great detail starting from morning until evening. ex) Morning classes at 7:45 AM! Then work for four hours and a 20 minute lunch break, seven hours of studying… gonna be a long night!”
  • The lyricist/poet – It’s nice to like lyrics from songs, I suppose that’s why musicians are so successful. No one is going to know where that lyric is from except for you. It may mean a lot to you, but it doesn’t mean very much to me.
  • The one who begs for sympathy – “When are these days going to get a little easier?” “I’ve never been so emotionally drained.” You’re waiting for your Facebook “friends” to ask you what’s wrong. I will not because this is neither the right time nor place for that. If you want to talk about your day or your feelings, don’t be mysterious. If it’s personal, call up a friend or get a blog – no need to splash it on my newsfeed.
  • Facebook Application Invites. Just don’t.

I’ll admit, I have made a few Facebook mistakes here and there. Sometimes, you don’t even realize when you do, just be careful about the things you post because what goes on the internet stays on the internet… even untagged pictures!

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One thought on “Yow Yow’s Official Guide to Facebook

  1. Rindo says:

    Here’s how I go about accepting Friend Requests.

    1. If Boy, check his friend list.
    a) Is he a friend of close friends? If yes, accept. I must’ve met him somewhere, at some point in time. If no, go to (b).
    (b) Check school/college. If same school/college I was in, accept. If no, go to (c)
    (c) Is he someone useful/rich? If yes, accept. Else, wait until I get more data.

    2) If Girl, accept. No conditions. And then proceed to stalk her. If she’s not hot, stalk her hot friends instead.

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