When you’re a senior about to graduate from college, you sort of expect to hear advice from your older friends revolving around finding a job, keeping a work/life balance, and budgeting. I never expected to hear that dating outside of college would be difficult, but it made sense. For however many years we were in school, we were constantly surrounded by people whether it was in classes, events, college parties, friends of friends etc. Outside of college though, you have to learn how to put yourself out there and accept that by now you did not stay together with your high school/college sweetheart. Instead, you may just meet your future significant other in the strangest places or god forbid – online or in a bar. While those are kind of the standard these days, it’s important to note that it’s not that conventional in some of our parents’ eyes.

Dating is not easy. In fact some of my friends have told me that they actually hate it. It can be uncomfortable, awkward, and completely misconstrued. This morning, I had a conversation with Veronica and Charles about dating that made me realize that our  genders were on COMPLETELY different pages. It was on the opposite end of the spectrum that I figured – this had to be discussed on Yow Yow!

First off, I have to commend guys for asking for a girl’s number. Though maybe sexist, I am very grateful that it is not entirely the norm for me to be doing that because it is a little bit daunting. For a guy to do that, now that takes some serious guts! In that sense, girls kind of have it easy. When Veronica and I were in school, our friend who was a year older than us once told us on separate occasions that if a guy should ever ask us out that we should say “yes!” to a first date. After all, it’s dinner and it’s completely harmless. If you go into it with an open mind then at least you know you gave it a try. However, if you realize that it didn’t really work out for you then you don’t have to keep going out on dates with that person. When Veronica and I shared that with Charles, he was very firm in the fact that he did not agree with that at all. If you’re a girl that has been asked out by a guy and you already know that you have no intentions in moving further with this person or have any feelings whatsoever for this person, then you should not accept. Girls should not be wasting a guy’s time when the guy has already invested in the girl by wanting to take her out on a first date.

This is the first time that I have ever heard a guy’s standpoint on this matter and after hearing his side, I kind of have to agree with Charles. And this can go both ways for either gender – yes, it means that saying no to a first date may mean you are easily closed off, but we have to take into account that some some people are choosing not to date for other reasons other than there not being an initial attraction there. I actually believe in the fact that it is unfair to go into a date setting when you are not entirely there or open. Bonus story: A friend of mine once told me that her friend was once low on groceries  and therefore accepted dates for an entire week to get free dinners from guys that she really had no interest in seeing. Girl just needed to eat.

I do not advise this in any way.

Please feel free to share thoughts in the comments below! I’m curious to hear your takes on this.