A conversation with my doctor:
(After I didn’t pass a quick eye exam test with flying colors)
Dr: So it looks like you’ve got pretty perfect eyesight.
Me: Are you serious or are you being sarcastic?
Dr: Why would I be sarcastic? I’m only sarcastic with people I know and I just met you.
Dr: I”m going to shine this light in your eye, now will you tell me if there’s any tension at all? How does that feel?
Me: It feels fine.
Dr: Look up. Now look to the left
Me: (I look completely to the right)
Dr: Was your eye getting progressively red after you put your contacts back in?
Me: Maybe. I don’t really know.
Dr: You’re going to be alright, you just need to give your eye time to heal from previously so don’t put your contacts in for four days.
Me: Wait- are you sure only four days? I have a holiday party on Saturday and I’d really like to be able to wear my contacts for that.
Dr: If you promise to wear your glasses for the rest of the week up until that holiday party, then you can wear your contacts on Saturday. Would you like some eye drops? I also have another solution that you can spray directly into your eye that can help clear this up as well.
Me: Whoa. I’m really not a fan of spraying things into my eye. That really freaks me out. Can we not?
Me: I was really concerned about my eye being red because that’s one of the symptoms of humans turning into zombies on the Walking Dead.
Dr: I don’t know about The Walking Dead. Can you tell me more about that? I mean you’re not going to turn into a zombie, but if you are, you’re the perkiest zombie I’ve ever met!