– Amy Poehler will return to Saturday Night Live to reprise her role as the news anchor alongside Seth Meyers on Saturday Night Live Weekend Update on Thursday September 17th. How does this work? I guess NBC is creating a new fall comedy lineup for Thursday and will serve as an introduction to Poehler’s season premiere of “Parks and Recreation” at 8:30

– Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami is a new reality television series that will make its debut on E! on Sunday August 16th

– Some company used Paris Hilton’s face on a herpes ad. Lulz.

– Katherine Jackson, Michael Jackson’s mother, will have full custody of his three kids.

– Nickelodeon’s television series iCarly will come to an end. Soon.

– Musician Estelle and designer Rachel Roy will collaborate together for a jewelry line slated to debut Spring 2010.

– Actress Bryce Dallas Howard (daughter of Ron Howard) will replace Rachelle Lefevre as evil vampire Victoria in the Twilight saga movies beginning with the third film, “Eclipse.”

– California govenor Arnold Schwarzenegger has made the decision to cut all of the funding for domestic violence programs in the year of 2009-2010. That’s $16.3 million. wtf? why would you do that?

– Actress Diane Keaton will have her own 30-minute television series on HBO in which she plays a feminist icon running a porn magazine for women.

– Jude Law will be adding a fourth child to his bunch of three already from ex-wife Sadie Frost. This time, the woman is unknown, but it has been said that they were in a relationship last year but are no longer involved.

A sperm bank in Los Angeles (no surprise there!) is letting YOU pick the sperm donor yourself based on what celebrity they look like. There are many celebrities within this search including those above, Adam Brody, James Franco, Ryan Gosling and many others. Because who doesn’t want their child to be a hot piece of ass when they grow up right? The only problem is that you can’t totally confirm that the donor looks like who they say they look like. Let’s just hope that honesty wins this time.