I look forward to reading my horoscope on both a weekly and a monthly basis. I know it’s a silly thing to believe in, but I typically find them to be true…or what happens is that I read it and sometimes convince myself that what my horoscope is telling me is ACTUALLY what’s happening in my life. Raise your hand if you’ve done the same. With all that said, it’s important to just take these things with a grain of salt because at the end of the day, you should remember that someone gets paid to write these. I happened to be on the Nylon blog today where they made a new post for April horoscopes and the Aries horoscope is the worst.
Happy Birthday Ram! Remember, you are not at the beginning of the Zodiac to be any old mountain goat—you are here because you shimmer and catch the sunlight like the Golden Fleece, the catalyst that set all those Argonauts in motion. Of all the colors, I actually associate you with red, and surveys say that irregardless of gender, human beings of all age and stripes are happy to see a woman in bright red lipstick. It’s genetic, it’s animal—Jane Goodall born April 3, one of the foremost Aries primatologists observed that even chimpanzees respond to bright lipstick. Anyway you get the picture, and here’s smiling at you kid.
I read this and thought, okay cool intro, let me click the next page to see my real horoscope, but instead it jumped straight to Taurus. What?! That’s not a horoscope, you’re just giving me random facts and trying to stroke my ego.