photo cred | The Cobrasnake

After not posting consistently for several days on Yow Yow, it always feels like unknown territory coming back to this. I forget how to write lengthy news posts or original posts and resort to ones that can be easily re-posted just so I can ease back into routine again. For the last several days, I have spent time getting re-acquainted with myself again. It has set me back in terms of work-related activities. I put some things on hold. I even had to back out of a commitment, which doesn’t mean that I have commitment problems – it just means that I made a shift in my own priorities and realized the importance of taking care of myself right now and figuring out where I want to be in the next chapter of my life. After all, my mother always said that you cannot take care of anyone else unless you take care of yourself first and that was precisely the situation that I had found myself in.

With each and every day, I believe that I wake up feeling more and more like an adult. If you would have told 9-year-old me that in the future my idea of a good time catching up with friends involved grabbing coffee (I hated coffee and tea) and sitting down for a meal, I would have laughed in your face. How boring, let’s go play with my easy bake oven and not question why it is that a light bulb is heating up my delicious sweet treats. Simply put, as children we are naive to the world. We love our innocence, but would we ever want it back fully? After writing that line, I automatically pictured Zach Braff circa Garden State in my head about him feeling numb and not wanting to feel that way anymore.

If I could label the cliche term of “roller coaster ride” for any period of my life, it would probably be college, but I wouldn’t take it back. In the past few days, I have sat down with a couple of my friends who graduated two years ago and just listening to them talk about life after college and how they are now pursuing different paths than when they first graduated is every indication to me that the learning doesn’t end here. Nothing is set in stone even after I get my degree because things and life change so quickly.

Now, in the spring quarter of our college years, many of my peers have been asking each other “What are you doing after college?” After answering this question tonight, my friend then said, “Really? I thought you would have had it figured out by now.” It wasn’t offensive; I maybe felt self-conscious for a second, but then I realized I do have it figured it out. I am going to enjoy my last quarter here as best as I can. In the past few days, I have been inspired by the people around me. I have strengthened my relationships. I’ve consumed my favorite foods and I can’t remember the last time I danced and laughed this hard before this weekend. All these things aren’t going to lead me to my dream job right away, but they have helped in making me feel whole again and realize what’s important NOW.