There comes a time in life when things get so tough that you cannot do it yourself. God, I hate that sentence. I’m still trying to figure out if the Death Bear is real. Maybe you can’t “bear” (pun intended?) to give your ex his belongings back or maybe the thought of cleaning out a loved one’s room or closet makes you feel nauseous and sick to your stomach. All you have to do is call the Death Bear, who only works in Brooklyn.
Available on both Saturday, February 27th and Sunday, February 28th, “Death Bear will take things from you that trigger painful memories and stow them away in his cave where they will remain forever allowing you to move on with your life. Give him an ex’s clothes, old photos, mementos, letters, etc. Death Bear is here to assist you in your time of tragedy, heartbreak, and loss. Let Death Bear help you, and absorb your pain into his cave.”
Text 347-742-2293 for a free appointment w/ Death Bear.
Please, someone let me know how this turns out.