When Katie sent me the email asking me to write a guest post on Yow Yow, I was incredibly hesitant. Unlike everyone who has written before me, I don’t actually like most people or things, and the highlights of my day include pooping and eating abnormal amounts of Mexican food. I loved absolutely everything I’ve read so far with the guest posts, but when Katie asked me to share something witty and insightful I blanked. Me? Wise? I thought that word was only for old dudes with beards like Dumbledore or Socrates. So I picked my brain and tried to think of something, absolutely anything, that would make me sound like a funny and intelligent 22-year old who’s getting her act together. Sadly, I’m not in a Scott Pilgrim novel, and all I could think about was my existential crisis: why is my love of Zooey Deschanel disintegrating? WHY?

The real fact of the matter is, I suck under pressure. I am an incredibly opinionated person who actually never keeps her mouth shut, yet if you ask me what my favorite book is, or what music I like, the only answers that pop into my brain are the Insane Clown Posse and Eat Pray Love.

But then it hit me: I’m going to write about a person who inspires me. So simple, right? When I re-read the email Katie sent me, she talked about how she’s lucky to have me in her life, and that I have helped shaped her experience at SU, and that she wanted to marry me because I’m so attractive and amazingly good-looking and sexy (I know, she won’t keep her hands off me). However, I kept thinking, “Does Katie realize she does the same thing for so many others?”

Unfortunately, I think the answer is no, therefore today I’m going to confess why I’m in lesbians with Katie.

There was one day a while back when I needed an extra partner at my Tuesday night Fight Club, and Katie begged me to let her come. I felt bad because she did her little panda bear face that even my freezing heart couldn’t say no to. We showed up, greased up, and next thing I know I’m watching her stare at her opponents with blood in her eyes and Chanel on her nails, and I can tell you from first hand experience she actually ripped someone’s jugular out with her Claire’s bobby pin (extra clarification: I was not involved with the process nor do I condone fighting nor violence of any kind). She actually almost tried to kill me after, but I convinced her I was Angelina Jolie and that I just wanted to adopt her before she finally let me free.

Although you may think none of this happened, I’m trying to subconsciously manipulate your brains into realizing the truth about Katie: she’s scrappy, and she’s not to be messed with. When I first met her my freshman year, I thought her voice sounded like a Tickle-Me-Elmo doll that never ran out of batteries, and that she might actually fit in my pocket; however it was not until we began working together this past year that I saw she is a sly ninja. This girl is savvy, sassy, and saucy and she knows how to put on a flawless event. Constantly keeping up to date with trends involving music, fashion, movies, television, and all things Seattle, her brain is a brilliant Wikipedia page of its own. Impeccably organized, a fantastic writer, and always well dressed, I want to say one thing to you, my dear: I’m proud to know you.

This past summer, Katie frantically began sending me emails about an event that she was working on, racking my brain and asking me every question under the sun for advice, and I felt puzzled she even needed my help. She called me a mentor and that she wanted to put on a great event like mine, but I never once had a doubt that this year’s event will blow mine out of the water. For starters she began planning the event when she came out the womb instead of waiting until a few hours before like I did. She asked insightful questions, and obviously was not afraid to ask for help – something my stubborn ass almost always refuses to do. And although I’m not calling myself her mentor, I did make one important decision when she began asking me for help: to treat her like a serious adult. This sounds simple, but I think that many people try and baby the short and cute looking woman, thus affecting her self-esteem and self-image; I think it’s important we begin treating female leaders as leaders, instead of someone to take shopping or get children’s discounts at the local cine.

Examples of what not to do: “Oh you’re so cute!” Omgoodness look how little you are!” “So when’s your first day of school?!” “Can I borrow that ninja turtle backpack?”

Once I fully realized her fierce nature (the fight club memory still haunts me…) I came to the sad realization that she never really needed me, she just needed someone to take her seriously and push her in the right direction. She needed someone to give her respect and allow her to see her own full potential, instead of talk about her abnormally small stature. Slowly by slowly this year, the emails have begun to disappear, and my little caterpillar finally became a butterfly. She doesn’t need me anymore, and she never really did y’all; she doesn’t need my advice because Katie realizes she has way more tools and skills that I could ever dream of. So I write this piece asking for a favor: treat her like the ninja she is, or she will rip your jugular out.

Thanks for asking me to write this piece, thanks for pretending I’m actually a put together person, and thanks for teaching me that being kind can actually take you places. I’m proud to know you, Ms. Katie, and I can’t wait to come back in the spring to see what amazing event you’ve cooked up for SU. So although you started these posts to introduce people who inspire you, I think it’s about time you realize you inspire others (occasionally, when you don’t eat too many pixie sticks).

Watch out y’all, for in a few years you may run into a 7ft tall and bearded Katie running the world with her 3-D Blackberry, and I won’t even say I told you so.

From the mentee to the REAL mentor,

Addie Addison Penny Lane

P.S. many people are often afraid of me at SU, and I would like to keep it that way. So if you think this post means I’m nice, friendly, or approachable, it doesn’t. Katie’s an exception. A rare one. RARE.
If I ever need someone to write a bio for me in the future, Meghan Penny Lane Merita Elizabeth Addie Addison  will be the first person I will ask. She is not only a woman of many names, but also a woman with many talents. This girl is the definition of a female dreamboat. She’s witty, funny, adventurous and gives zero f*cks. The girl does whatever she wants and that is something that I truly admire about her. Currently, Meghan has been traveling through Mexico while studying abroad, but come spring quarter this girl is all mine. Bacon and burritos ALL the time. To view more of Meghan’s writing and journey abroad, visit her blog here.