It’s no secret that I have a love / hate relationship with The Bachelorette. I don’t always believe that finding love on a reality television show is possible (except for Catherine and Sean!) but I can’t stop myself from watching anyways because I’m generally rooting for good things to come out of the show. I went to my first viewing party with co-workers this past Monday and it was really fun to explain to some of them how exactly the show works and to see how quickly they changed their minds between Britt and Kaitlyn. We had to remind them that the producers completely lead audiences to believe a certain way because of the way they edit things and how calculated every scene is.

Before the season started, I wasn’t quite sure what to think. I wasn’t happy about the guys having to choose between Britt and Kaitlyn, but I can see why the producers thought this would be entertaining. In my opinion, it didn’t seem fair. The girls already have to go through enough and just when they think they’ve been chosen they still have to compete? I’m glad that this was done and over with after the first episode though.

However, my problems didn’t end here. I was actually livid about a remark I heard from one of the guys on the show and even more upset that the media completely grazed over this instead focusing on the intoxicated contestant that was booted before the rose ceremony and the slut shaming that we saw from Kaitlyn having to apologize for her actions. (we’ll discuss this in another post after we watch the episode where this happens.) The line in question that I am referring to is when one guy was discussing who he’d pick, “Britt is more of your trophy wife. Kaitlyn is more of your wife.”

I’m not oblivious. I know that trophy wives exist and I know that there are women in this world that are happy being labeled a trophy wife, but you are not allowed to just refer to someone as a trophy wife. When you say that someone is a trophy wife, does that make you feel better about yourself as a man? Does that make you feel more masculine? This guy just met Britt for the first time and assumed because she was naturally very pretty that she didn’t have more to offer than being a trophy wife. I was really disappointed to hear this and am even more curious now to hear Britt’s reaction on this having seen the first episode. A guy once told me to my face that he believed that “Asian women were the modern day trophy wives.” Really? Asian women? All of them? He might as well have thrown a drink in my face because that was the equivalent of how I felt when I heard that. In case you were wondering what happened after that? Friendship over. For the men that read this blog, please. Please. Don’t ever say this to a women. Unless they want to be referred to in this way, it is a degrading statement and it’s 2015, we’ve come a long way to be put back into this position.