28 Jun 2015

That Last Bachelorette Episode

Since I happened to be in Seattle this past week, I was very lucky to be able to watch The Bachelorette’s most scandalous episode of the season with my 3 favorite girlfriends. Every week, we’ve all watched it from our own homes – me in California and the three of them seprately in Seattle all of us texting each other throughout the two hours for our reactions, but this time it was so much better to be in one living room together!

In case you missed it, Kaitlyn had the sex with Nick Viall on The Bachelorette. Obviously, nothing was shown, but audiences could definitely hear what went on behind closed doors. Someone should remind them to not only take the mics off, BUT to not leave the mics turned on either. In the past, getting to this stage in a relationship on the show usually happens within the last two episdoes at the fantasy suite when there are usually just three suitors left. In Kaitlyn’s case, she had 9 guys left vying for her love and a long road ahead of her. For reference, the last Bachelor/Bachelorette to be intimate before the fantasy suite was Juan Pablo and Claire.

At the end of the episode, I just had to ask the girls: so what did you think?

All of us agreed that what she did was wrong. It was wrong because there were still 9 guys left and essentially still very early on in the process. When you are down to just three contestants, it seems more okay because you are starting to get more serious and having that deeper connection. It doesn’t look great on Kaitlyn because it was on television for the whole world to see it. Do we feel that she is being treated unfairly though or being slut-shamed for what she did? Absolutely. From the very beginning of the season, we saw a preview of this clip as to what we could expect from Season 11 and it seemed like this was a very pivotal moment in Bachelor/Bachelorette history. When this happened to Juan Pablo, we didn’t know it was happening until it happened. Kaitlyn didn’t get the same treatment.

I met with a former professor the next day who also watches this show and engaged in this conversation with me as well. She asked me, “Where does Kaitlyn go from here? How does she redeem herself?”

I thought it was a great question because honestly – if I were in Kaitlyn’s shoes, I wouldn’t know what to do either. Part of why I’m disappointed in what Kaitlyn did was because now this sets an expectation for the other men. In their eyes, they might now feel that they have to sleep with Kaitlyn in order to feel like they’re ahead which puts Kaitlyn in a very uncomfortable position that no other woman really wants to see her have to be in. It feels a bit unfair though as I’m writing this because while she did make herself feel a little “easy” to Nick, she wasn’t doing something that was wrong with regards to dating because when most women date, intimacy is an important part of that. However, the girls and I decided that it is wrong when you are exclusively dating 9 men at the same time.

Readers, would love to hear your thoughts on this on this episode if you have any!