Let’s talk about what is arguably one of the most awkward wedding topics: figuring out one’s guest list. The reason I say this is awkward is because people are completely and utterly shameless when it comes to weddings. Take it from me, people will invite themselves and their friends to your wedding with no prompting almost immediately after you get engaged. It’s really quite impressive. I’m going to proceed in telling you about how my fiance and I created our guest list, this is not to say that it is the only way to choose people to invite to your wedding, but it is what is right for us.
Eric and I both have small families so initially the guest list was easy. Just as a weird fun fact about my fiance, he has zero cousins. Isn’t that weird? What are the odds? Anyway, after listing the obvious people: our families and our wedding party, we emailed our family members asking for any of their personal requests for our guest list. We assumed they would have a few people that we had not thought of and that should be obligatory invites, if you know what I mean. At that point, we focused on our friends near and far, longtime and short. It is important to us to have friends invited that have played integral roles in our relationship. For us this means roommates who watched us grow up together, friends who heard about the frustrations of long distance relationships, and those who have supported, loved, and celebrated us over the last 5 ½ years. This may look different to many other couples wedding planning, but for us even if we haven’t spoken regularly with our freshmen year roommates or our friends on the East Coast, we want them to know that they are important to us and that we have appreciated their unconditional love and support throughout our years together. Whether they decide to make the trek to the Bay Area is up to them, but sending the invitation to the ones we love most will be the best feeling in the world.
In other news, the infamous issue of the plus one. Because Eric and I are logical and friend-centered people, we decided to allow ourselves the freedom to pick and choose who gets a plus one so as to eliminate the awkwardness of a stranger on the dance floor. This may sound harsh, but what this really means is that those in relationships will of course get a plus one for their significant other, standard protocol. Those that are not in a relationship and that will know enough people at the wedding to feel comfortable, have a great time, and travel the distance independently, will likely not get a plus one. For us, the perfect wedding is intimate. The perfect wedding means an entire weekend of activities with our most cherished friends and family, celebrating a love and a life that we have always been so sure of. These activities may include a hike or a bike ride, a brunch, and a welcome BBQ and these are things we hope everyone will enjoy and come together around. Eric and I have settled on 160 people on our guestlist and for us, this is the sweet spot.