01 Jan 2016

Guys, Don’t Grab a Girl

More than any other year, 2015 was the year that I learned about dating in this day and age not only through myself, but also through my friends. I’m not sure how we missed the boat back in high school and in college. It’s interesting because back then my friends and I never talked about dating. In high school, everyone had those relationships that we all knew wouldn’t last and in college, no one had the time to date. Everyone was too busy being awesome and working hard. That’s what I like to believe anyway!

For Christmas, I decided to buy myself “Modern Romance” based off of some rave reviews from friends. I’m not very far into it yet – only chapter 2 – but I’m excited to see where it’s headed. After reading a bit of it and spending some nights out in San Francisco lately and Seattle for New Year’s Eve I have very quickly picked up on something that I’m not okay with. I’m not sure when guys started thinking this is what girls wanted, but guys – it is not okay to grab the arm of a girl you don’t know or any other part of her body for that matter when you are at a bar/club/restaurant etc. I don’t know you, okay? To me, you’re a stranger. I get that maybe you’re trying to get my attention, but you’ve gotta find another way. I almost feel like in 2015 society has told men that in order to get the girl you need to be more assertive and make the first move, but as women, we don’t like this. I supposed I can’t speak for everyone. Correction: I don’t like this. 

When you grab my arm, it’s alarming. If my friends want to get my attention that way, that’s fine, but I know them. I don’t know you. If you grab any other part of me, it’s offensive. I usually don’t want to talk to someone if they’re going to violate me and get in my personal space first. Not the pre-requisite. In 2015 and now 2016, we should all be respectful of each other and everyone’s boundaries. There’s no need to grab; just use your words.