Okay, I was actually being kind in the titling of this post because the press release is straight up horny. Now I’m not saying that Meghan Trainor isn’t allowed to put stuff like this into the world. She started off as a pop star who kids idolized and she’s allowed to grow up. I never could understand the criticisms that people had towards Disney stars who started to do the same thing and were shamed for it. It is completely normal for people to change their tastes and be who they want to be without being penalized.

I will say, however, that I found myself blushing while reading this press release for her latest album. Never have I ever felt so embarrassed reading something that was supposed to just be a typical announcement. You can read the entire piece here at the [source] but here a few favorite choice lines. Mother, forgive me. These aren’t my words – they are her’s!

• “…smashing bae’s junk to smithereens”
• “You know you want it. And you can freakin’ get it b*tch. On all digital platforms right HERE.”
• “Meghan just got married to the ginger from Spy Kids.”
• “Billboard was wet for ‘All The Ways.'”
• “It slaps so hard you’ll be stanning for days.”

Yeah, I’m shook. I mean, hey, if it gets people to listen to her album and it’s breaking records, then she certainly achieved something. I just imagine her 10-year-old fan going up to mommy and being like, “what does wet for mean?”