Tag Archives: Conversations From 20-Somethings

Conversations From 20-Somethings

What’s in a first date?

After a week of being sick, I finally made my way out of my home last night for a drive up to the city for dinner and drinks with some pretty great company. The best part about moving to another nearby major city is that people you know are ALWAYS visiting and honestly – nothing makes me happier. My brother’s friend Ryan was in town earlier this week and through this weekend from Seattle and he brought with him two friends – one also living in Seattle (Neal)  and the other in New York (Blake) – all of us working within tech. It’s been awhile since we’ve had a “Conversation From 20-Somethings” post, but these are some of my favorites.

As we’re dining over our six plates at Nopalitos, the topic of relationships naturally comes up (doesn’t it always?)

“A first date is always coffee or drinks, but NEVER a meal.” – Blake (while Ryan agrees)

“Wait, I never look at coffee as a first date. In fact, that’s kind of like the express lane to friend zoning, isn’t it? Or just indicating something…friendly and casual.”

“No, the great thing about coffee or drinks is that there’s not a whole lot of commitment there. When you get dinner, you are committing to an hour or more of your time with this person regardless of whether or not you know it’s going to go well.”

“For a girl, when a guy says dinner – that’s a date. When it’s coffee or drinks it gets lost in translation or it’s not clear.”

“If I ask a guy on a date for coffee or drinks I just say, ‘let me buy you a drink.’ That’s a date. I don’t have to actually say, ‘this is a date.’

So readers, I’m so curious, how do you determine a first date? Are you okay with coffee being a first date option? For the record, I’d like to share that the one time I went on a coffee date, I considered this pre-dating before the dating and that while I believe when someone asks you to dinner that that is a date, I used to always revert to coffee or drinks first because I just didn’t particularly like going out to dinner as a first date. College me didn’t know anything about dating. Current me still doesn’t know that much.

Edit: I’ve never been on a dinner date where I didn’t know the person pretty well. So that’s where Blake and I kind of came to terms on that. I am in agreement with him though that maybe if I didn’t know someone or recently met them, drinks and coffee are a much safer bet.

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Yow Yow’s Yearly Recap

Wowowow. What a year it has been for Yow Yow!

I’m not all that sad to see 2013 go because I am so looking forward to what 2014 has in store for us. 2013 was a big transition year for Yow Yow! Postings became a little bit more consistent because I was no longer in school and it started to become predictable that I would just log on right after work. It’s nice to be able to have a set schedule to be honest. When I was in school, I would post any free moment I had, which was great because maybe sometimes I would be inclined to write a post about something because it was convenient. However, I appreciate now, that I get to wait until the end of the day to sort out my thoughts and to spend some time thinking a little bit more about what I am writing. Yow Yow! has turned 5-years old! It’s hard to believe that this blog has been with me for that long and that some of you have watched me transition, grow, and hopefully write better content in that time. Thank you x 23984298 to everyone who has supported the blog during this time. If I didn’t have that, I may not still be writing today. We know for sure though that Jennie and Ashley have at least helped me keep Wedding Mondays alive.

Stats from 2012 will be on the left and italicized while stats from 2013 will be right and bold.

1,130,911 total visits to Yow Yow! – – – – – – – – – – –  1,294,886 total visits to Yow Yow!

*In just 2013, there were 163,975 visits to Yow Yow!

7,067 Posts, 2,187 Comments 10,229 Tags – – – – –  9,167 Posts 3,152 Comments 12,122Tags (cumulative)

Top Post of 2013 – “Hipster Disney Princesses In Real Life” – 15,726 views (written in 2012)

Top Post Written in 2013 – “Meet: Hollis Wong-Wear” – 2,071 views

Busiest Month in Terms of Views – October 2012 (49,821 views) – – – – – January 2013 (24,905 views)

Highest Average Visits Per Day – October 2012 (1,607 views) – – – – –  – January 2013 (803 views)

*Busiest Day – October 5, 2010 (4,239 views)

Credits + References

Worked with

  • Gilt City
  • Postmates
  • Dry Soda
  • Gratify
  • Nordstrom Wedding Suite at the Seattle Nordstrom Flagship

“Women Who Are Making It” Series:

  • SuChin Pak
  • Molly Young
  • Kendall Herbst
  • Hollis Wong-Wear

Top Referring Sites in 2013 Were:

  • Pinterest.com
  • Facebook.com
  • Twitter.com
  • Android.pinterest.com
  • holliswongwear.com

Most of My Visitors Came From:

  • The United States
  • Canada
  • The United Kingdom

Music Festivals Covered:

  • Capitol Hill Block Party
  • Bumbershoot

Other:

*We started a new series on Fridays called “Take Me There” and “Truth and Words” Sundays

*We ended the series “Thought Catalog Roundup.”

*New graphics and headers by Leanna Robb! [Facebook, Twitter, Blog]

* We made a Facebook page! Like us.

*We packed up and moved to the Bay area! [Seattle, forever <3 – I promise]

*Veronica became an official part of Yow Yow!

*We received our very first press passes for Yow Yow!

*We started “Conversations From 20-Somethings.”

*We hit 1,000+ subscribers!

*We followed-up with some of our previous guest writers from a year ago:

*We made some videos! Like this unveiling video below:

and one last hoo-rah with Space Girl

*We had a memorable Twitter interaction:

Here’s to what we hope will be a very exciting 2014!

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Man Eats Dinner Every Night Solo in Manhattan

Dave Sanders for The New York Times

Just this week, we had a “Conversations from 20-Somethings” post in which I wrote about how difficult it can be for people to eat by themselves – myself included. It was interesting that in the same week I just happened to stumble across an article in The Times of a man who has been doing the same thing for years – every single night.  Harry Rosen’s story will melt your hearts on this Friday. Check out the entire article here.

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Conversations From 20-Somethings

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Not too long ago, I asked Veronica if she had ever eaten alone before at a restaurant. She told me she hadn’t and I was a little shocked, but I really shouldn’t have been because it’s something that I have only done a couple times before. And if we’re being quite honest here, I didn’t do “eating solo” very well. For as long as I have known, eating by yourself always represented something negative when it should’ve been a reflection of something positive. If you’re eating by yourself, it should be seen that you are an independent person that knows how to enjoy a good meal on your own. However, movies and television paint it as you are someone that has no friends and no one to eat with; life is really depressing and there’s a dark cloud over your head and you’re eating alone. Womp womp.

There have been a lot of vulnerable moments in my life, but one of them is definitely being “okay” with eating by myself and I’m not even there yet. It’s difficult because you’re not really sure where you’re supposed to look. Do you keep your head down and only focus on your food? What if you daze off and the table next to you wonders why you’re creepily staring at them? Also in this day and age, we cannot disconnect. The reason why I fail so hard at eating solo is because I feel the need to cling to my technological attachment. Oh I don’t know what to do with my hands in between bites? Let me scroll through my entire Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest feed. It’s a clutch and it’s an unhealthy one. So readers, I’m curious to know – have you mastered the art of eating alone and how do you do it?

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Conversations From 20-Somethings [Revised]

I recently wrote a post last month about a somewhat controversial topic for the Conversations From 20-Somethings series on “homie hopping.” After giving it some thought and some time as well as hearing from other people in my life that expressed their views to me on the topic, I have since had a little bit of a change of heart. In the original post, I gave a set of rules for when homie hopping would be acceptable and not acceptable. Today, I’ve basically decided that it is NOT acceptable by any means. In fact, it’s the highest level of disrespect. Not only is it sleazy, but it’s a little bit trashy.

While both the ex and the friend are at fault, the ex has no obligation to you after you break up. They can date whoever they want, but if they had enough respect and consideration for you, they wouldn’t date anyone in your friend group. Your friend, however, should simply know better. Since I’ve written the post, people in my life have shared several thoughts and perspectives on the idea that I thought would be worth mentioning because I’ve only seen my own views of homie hopping, which is what I used to write the original post and what I am using now to write this post.

“When a friend of mine decided to date our other friend’s ex – the other friend told her that the friendship would be over if she did that. And because I am against homie hopping, I also stopped being friends with the friend that participated in the homie hopping.”

“If a friend decides to date your ex, everyone that knows them will instantly lose respect for them.”

“I expect my friends to all have a certain degree of respect for me and my space, emotions, relationships, etc. especially people that you consider to be “good” or best friend. So by all means, homie hopping isn’t acceptable.”

“I don’t understand what goes through people’s minds nowadays. Do they know that a friendship is done when this type of thing happens?”

“Just like relationships, friendships also have boundaries and if you are the friend that is hurt in this  – you have to decide how far is too far? Homie hopping is  blatant disrespect to that and totally crossing the line.”

“A relationship that is built on the foundation of something that is not supported by others and that came together in a way that was wrong in the first place won’t last.”

“When a relationship ends, you don’t run to your mom or some random stranger for support, you go to your best friend. He or she is supposed to be there to help you through one of the toughest points in your life, eat endless pints of ice cream or do whatever girls/guys do and in the end let you cry about the asshole who tore your heart out.”

“Your best friend is supposed to be your advocate. As they watch you cry about the person who hurt you, what shouldn’t be going through their head is when am I going to see X again? or I wonder if X is going to take me to somewhere nice tonight. That’s just cruel. What is even worse is when you hide behind their back and the truth comes out from someone else. Friendships are about respect, trust, and honesty. They are not about seeing your best friend in pain and deciding that the person who put them through that is your next prince charming.”

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Conversations From 20-Somethings

It feels like forever since we have had one of these posts and the reason for that is because I have been spending the last month doing research. That research has mostly consisted of listening to a handful of insight from my friends. They often times teach me more than I realize so in that case – we find their answers to be very credible.

The topic of today’s “Conversations From 20-Somethings?” Homie Hopping – a term that was coined by Nicole Richie  in an episode of #CandidlyNicole.

By definition: a girl (or boy) that breaks up with their significant other and goes on to date one of their friends within no-specific amount of time.

When I was younger, I’ll admit, my views on this were very black and white. I pretty much had this perspective that homie hopping was NEVER okay because a friend once told me, “There are a billion guys out there in this world. There is no need for you to a) be pining over someone that isn’t worth your time or b) dating any of their friends.” For years, I believed in this rule not only because someone told me it and I believed it, but because… isn’t this part of the unspoken friendship code? According to the friends that I have spoken to, it is just known that you are never supposed to date or hook up with any of your ex’s friends and while most would prefer it that their exes didn’t date their friends, this inevitably does happen in real life. Sometimes it ends badly and friends end a friendship. Other times, homie hopping leads someone to realize that an ex’s friend is more compatible with them than the first ex. After compiling my research here are a list of ways you are homie hopping the correct way and the wrong way. I also want to know that homie hopping is not just hooking up with a friend’s ex-fling. That’s completely separate from this post.

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Conversations From 20-Somethings

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Well, the long-anticipated talk in front of the students has come and gone! I thought all of you would be interested in hearing how it went. For a little over a month, I had been nervous (maybe for no reason at all) and I had been preparing what I would say through various blog posts here letting you know the topics I might hit on. When it came down to it, I mentioned none of it. It is unnerving to stand up in front of a presentation hall speaking to 30 students each wondering what in the world you are doing there. It’s one of the reasons why I could probably never be a teacher, myself, but I have so much adoration for those that had me as a student. I wasn’t perfect. I spent 70% of class day dreaming wondering what my life would be like after college, after high school. If my professors allowed me to munch in class, I was a happy girl. We don’t give our teachers and professors ENOUGH credit and I will always stand behind that statement and tell that to every young student I come across in the future that tells me their teacher just “doesn’t get them.” They do. It’s just you that doesn’t understand your teacher and that they are a human being just like you.

As I stood in front of that hall offering what I had to say, I felt confident. Then I felt uncomfortable hearing the sound of my own voice and insecure that I was rambling. That impending fear that I had probably dawned on the students and that’s when I kind of knew I was dunzo. The speaking engagement lasted 10 minutes. I didn’t get to say all that I wanted to say, but that’s okay. After the talk Henry told me that I was probably being too hard on myself as I sometimes am. These students, after all, were very close to having their summer. By being in this 3:40 PM class, I was taking them away from their happy hours and the rare Seattle sunshine. It didn’t matter who was standing in front of them, they just didn’t want to be there probably. So I will say – students, being dismissed by you is not the worst rejection I have gone through in life, but maybe somewhere in my ramblings you heard my advice about being kind to others, working hard throughout college by staying busy, and taking everything you hear from your professors to heart. Or maybe you didn’t – to which I will just say GOOD LUCK! You will soon learn eventually. Also, my introductory joke only got some stifled giggles. Ouch! Looks like I could never be a stand-up comedian either.

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Conversations From 20-Somethings

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I’ve been sitting on this topic for a long time now – like 5 months. Usually, I don’t wait that long to write about something that I want to write about, but I’ll admit that I was hesitant about this conversation mainly because of how I should be writing it, how people may perceive it, and what kind of backlash I might receive (if any) Here’s hoping there’s not.

Quite some time ago I was in the company of two friends – both male – when one of them brought up the fact that he had recently read an article that men were more likely to cheat on their wives if their wife was making more money than them. I can’t recall the kind of face I made when I heard that, but I’m 74% sure that my jaw dropped. I probably needed to read the article myself to fully understand the content and have a better grasp of it, but at that point, that was all I needed to hear to make my conjecture at the time. Guy 1 was silent for most of this conversation, but guy number 2 (the one who had brought up the article) elaborated some more by saying that he understood where guys were coming from when they took this kind of a standpoint. Both guys agreed that they would prefer the traditional way of providing for a family in which the man makes most of the income and the fact that their wife would be making more could be slightly uncomfortable.

Now there’s a lot to be addressed here so I know I need to be careful with my words and showcase every standpoint.

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Thought Catalog Roundup

Something that really excites me about these posts every week (and I’ll only say it one time and one time only) is that if there is ever an inappropriate title, I will try to disguise it in the best way I know how. Now you know my secret! Some friends of mine have recently been telling me that these Thought Catalog roundups are a favorite of theirs on Yow Yow! because not only are they interesting reads written by 20-somethings, but they also help my friends find perspective in their own lives. And hey! They help me too so I’m glad that we are all mutually benefiting from this. Have a wonderful rest of your weekend everyone!

PS I also forgot to mention last week that when I select these posts, I also like to choose ones that are kind of controversial. You’ll know it when you read it!

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Conversations From 20-Somethings

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When you’re a senior about to graduate from college, you sort of expect to hear advice from your older friends revolving around finding a job, keeping a work/life balance, and budgeting. I never expected to hear that dating outside of college would be difficult, but it made sense. For however many years we were in school, we were constantly surrounded by people whether it was in classes, events, college parties, friends of friends etc. Outside of college though, you have to learn how to put yourself out there and accept that by now you did not stay together with your high school/college sweetheart. Instead, you may just meet your future significant other in the strangest places or god forbid – online or in a bar. While those are kind of the standard these days, it’s important to note that it’s not that conventional in some of our parents’ eyes.

Dating is not easy. In fact some of my friends have told me that they actually hate it. It can be uncomfortable, awkward, and completely misconstrued. This morning, I had a conversation with Veronica and Charles about dating that made me realize that our  genders were on COMPLETELY different pages. It was on the opposite end of the spectrum that I figured – this had to be discussed on Yow Yow!

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Conversations From 20-Somethings

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A couple of weeks ago, my former professor asked me if I would be interested in coming into one of her classes and talking about my post-grad life. I was excited about the idea because I absolutely love my university, but I am nervous about it because as much as I have learned in the last year, I’m not sure if anything I say will be able to prepare these students for what their life will be like outside of the Capitol Hill neighborhood and their Jesuit education.

When someone asks me about my life at college, I could talk their ear off. It is where I started this blog. It is the place that instilled in me the core values that I take into my life today. It provided me with opportunities that I never thought were within reach and I was able to imagine ideas and turn them into creations and traditions. There are many current students and graduated students who can relate to my feelings on our university and for that we have been given both a blessing and a curse.

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Conversations From 20-Somethings

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For the past couple of months, I have had several ideas for Yow Yow that I haven’t been able to put into effect immediately. While there are just a couple that are in the queue right now, there is one that I can introduce to you tonight! As a newly 23-year old, I’ve heard for months from countless people that my 20s are going to be absolutely life changing. After all, Thought Catalog tells me that every week that my 20s will be full of career changes, relationship changes, life changes, etc. And the more I read about it, the more I see it to be true. Yes, I entered my 20s just three years ago, but I don’t believe that adult life really begins until you are out of college ie) now!

For the past several months, I have been catching up with friends and having meaningful conversations that have stuck and that is what I want to begin sharing with all of you. If you’re in your 20s, do you have these conversations too? If you’re not, can you relate? Let’s have a conversation about it!

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